Sunday, January 24, 2010

A few of my favorite things.....

I know I haven't blogged much during this pregnancy, so here it goes in 1 post! I now have T Minus 8 days til birth. As of last Thursday, there has been no progress, whatsoever. So, most likely I will go Full Term...FULL FULL Term. My doctor refused to induce me until I'm 41 weeks. I am trying to explain to my doctor that at this point, the baby is just packing it on, literally! He's gaining about .5lb a week at this rate. That means, he'll be another 1lb., if I have to get induced. This scares me, terribly. I already have a feeling he's a biggin'. Just from our 4D pictures. (Posting soon.) Here are a few things that I couldn't live without during these 9 months.

Here's my crackers, right in the bathroom. We had 1 scare, one morning I woke up to grab my crackers...and they were gone! I started gagging uncontrollably, and Ben had to rush downstairs for the crackers. I'm not bragging or anything, sorry if you all get jealous...but I have thrown up maybe 4 times during this entire pregnancy. It's been pretty easy. I have this weird Gagging thing. If I get winded or hungry, I start gagging uncontrollably. But, I don't throw up. Just gag. First thing, when I wake up...I have to shove 2 graham crackers in my mouth before I do anything. It's weird I know, but then I don't gag. Other than that, I have not been sick, nauseas, etc. Right now is probably the worst I've ever felt, just the back pains and my hips going numb.
Here is another cork I've had. My tongue has been soo sensitive to anything and everything. I can't even eat ketchup right now. It burns my tongue! And toothpaste was the worst. So I had to switch to "sensitive" maximum strength! It's been great.
This is my nest that I sleep in every night. I HAVE to have all these pillows to fall asleep. And don't you worry, all of these came with us as we traveled through the Holidays. The top white pillow is my contour pillow for my neck. The little white wedge in the middle is my belly wedge. It's hoists your belly upright so it's not pulling. The fury guy on the left is a body pillow for the knees. Then the tuber in front goes against your back. It's a comfy nest. Then below, the purple guy is for your feet/legs. So they're propped up to deflate after the day.


ELEPHANTITIS (google it)


Exhibit A: This is what my legs and feet look like after work.

Exhibit B: This is the real deal folks!! My nylon socks, aren't even tight. Look at my little vienna sausage toes! Huge!

Exhibit C: Different angle



Exhibit D: Another Shot of the Elephantitis legs and feet

These are my stretch marks, yes stretch marks on my fingers!! (j/k) But seriously, I won't be surprised if they appear after they deflate.

This is as far as I can bend my fingers! It hurts too bad to make a fist.


Even my palm is big! Why does this happen?


$BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY$

WARNING: DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THESE PRODUCTS, THEY DO NOT WORK!!
You are looking at a billion dollar industry that haunts the United States of America today. I too, fell for this trick. So I started with the simple Tummy Butter - $8 (this is my 3rd can by the way). It wasn't quite working, and I couldn't figure out why. It simply states...for stretch marks! I then thought, I'll go straight to the real deal - Vitamin E. I started poking holes in the actual pills and rubbing it on the belly. Once again, did not work. So I figured, ok I need the good stuff for this to work. Forked over $65 for this Belli Elasticity Belly Oil. Oh no, I swear it's just baby oil. My friends and family, do not waste your money...if you are destined to get stretch marks, you will get them. Some are lucky and don't. That's just the way it is. Do not contribute to this Billion Dollar Industry! It's all a hoax backed by the government!


Last, but not least...the Heartburn! I've had this since day 1! This was the progression to subside the heartburn. I went from 12 Tums a day, to Maalox, once both of those weren't working...I needed the drugs. 1 Prevacid a day, keeps the flames away!

6 comments:

The Prigmore Family said...

Sweet Mother where do I begin??!!! This post made me laugh so hard and made me want to punch you so many times. But I guess you couldn't fight back b/c you can't make a fist! hahaha. Sad. I've been an elephantitis myself so I know your pain. Don't worry, those links will deflate in like a month.
The nest is OUT OF CONTROL! But I bet she is a good one. Backlogs for everyone!
PS seeing the gags in real life was awesome. I hope you can use real toothpaste soon my friend.
PPS- WHERE ARE THE PICTURES OF THE BELLARD?!!!!

Kara said...

I was laughing pretty hard too reading this, but I feel so bad for you too! You have such a funny way of describing your pain and uncomfortableness! I hope your husband is good at giving back rubs cause it sounds like you deserve them! Good luck and I hope he comes sooner and they don't make you go a week past your due date! Do you have a male DR? Just wondering, cause I don't think a female DR who's ever been preggers would make you go a week over! That's just crazy!

Juliann said...

Oh Heidi. You are so funny. I LOVE the pillow formation. It sounds too familiar. And the crackers, they bring back fond memories of me yelling at Rob-while throwing up, to make me a pb&j. Just keep telling yourself it's almost over. Keep your eye on the prize!

doug and becky said...

heidi!! i love you and the nest. i am so glad you're almost there and you are scaring the crap out of me... i'm on my way to the same fate as you in a few months! and yes, where are the pictures of the bellard?!

Michele said...

Oh my heck Heidi, I love your nest! And you are so LUCKY that you have only thrown up 4 times. That is my weekly average these days. Thanks for all the great advice!

Team Hansen said...

I am cracking up right now! You have had quite the pregnancy it seems, sorry I could not witness the incessant gagging episodes in person over Christmas (though I feel that the detailed description gave me quite a vivid image). Sorry to hear about the swelling, that cannot be comfortable but does explain the very particular sleeping arrangements that you have derived. Stretch mark prevention is a scam, slap anyone who boasts that they are "stretch mark free" and prepare yourself now for the "new body" that pregnancy will leave you with forever (it is sad but true). We are so excited for Oliver to make it here next week, you will do great in labor and just remember to keep asking for the pain killers. Keep us posted!